Mid May Update

Well this is perhaps a first... May is already half way over, which in some ways is hard to believe, but in others is quite easy to believe. The past week has been spent in England, and I enjoy it so much. Father has truly spoken to me in many ways and has subtly blown familiarity and fresh air into my lungs. I feel like I can breathe. I leave tomorrow to go back to Germany and I am excited but at the same time hesitant. In the next week things will change drastically and seems the rollercoaster of this germany experience will be placed on full throttle. Aaron will return to the states and I will begin working on Term Papers and many a presentations, which when I think about it I am quite nervous about getting accomplished. I find myself not wanting to speak or try the German language anymore... I don't care to learn anymore and I feel completely burnt out. That is a prayer request of mine that I would love to throw out to those willing to pray. Things always seem to work out in one way or another, but I have many doubts and fears that I harbor inside and allow to affect me entirely way too much.

Thank you guys for everything,
Ljo

May Update

The past month has been a time of sorting through ideas, thoughts and sifting through confusion and understanding, looking at sin and shedding myself of it, as well as learning to live on the faith i DO have instead of focusing on the faith I lack and trying to live on that (which, my friends is quite difficult to do). I have been looking a lot at Romans 7 and thinking about the spiritual warfare that plays on our daily lives as Christians... the battle of the flesh vs. the mind. It's an interesting and serious subject matter... and i long to shed myself of the things that bind me in my flesh, so i can run the race with endurance.

My prayer is much the same as Paul's in Colossians 4 when he asks "at the same time, pray also for us that God may open a door to us for the message, to speak the mystery of the Messiah." I am praying for open doors and open hearts, that as is prayed in Isaiah (43:8-9) "Bring out the people who are blind and have eyes, who are deaf, yet have ears... all the nations gather together and the people's assemble whom among them can declare this and show us the former things? Let them bring their witnesses to prove them right and let them hear and say it is true." That the blind would be able to use their eyes, and the deaf would be able to use their ears to hear truth. That Father would continue to open the eyes of those close to me and those who I meet every so often, to those who I only see in class.

Classes have begun and are pretty good. I am learning a lot and have been told that I have improved in my german skillz. I'm not sure how true that is, but compliments are pretty sweet. Aaron, my bf (internet code for boyfriend) is here until the 20th. The time has been nice and encouraging, and I am constantly encouraged to hear about his adventures SE Asia and to not only hear but see how Father has grown Aaron and given him more of His heart.

I'm continually learning that my life is truly hidden in Christ and I am learning what that looks like. I have lately been noticing the things that stir my heart for Him-- Here are a few examples, friends:

• I like spending time at Buddhist temples writing in my journal, reading the word, etc. (not out of disrespect... they don't know what i am doing... i just seek Father there..)
• I enjoy cemeteries.
• I like to write. journal, stories, visions, poems, thoughts
• Art.
• Nature.
• Prayer

these are only a few things that stir my heart for Christ, and I long to live inside of how things are.


I hope all are well. and i love all of you.

and i miss you. and you should write me so that I can hear from you. xoxoxoxoxoxo


p.s. i rode a bike for 203938493 km yesterday that equals 2938845u984uo4u0948098409ikw3938 miles

Where is Christ in it all?

are we fooling ourselves and performing for each other/fellow christians or are we truly serving Christ?!

prayer?

if this makes sense, if it doesn't, i have felt the drawing and the calling to pray and perhaps you'd like to join?
Lara

april

It is April, already. The days are getting longer, yet the days are going by faster. The sun stays out longer than me, and yet I feel busier than I have for quite awhile. This month has been quite crazy but also quite wonderful. I'm learning that Christ IS my all, and without him, I am absolutely clueless, and self-reliant. I'd rather not rely on myself. I'm seeing some things I haven't seen in myself in quite a long time, and I am noticing some changes. Some changes of maturity and also seeing some areas of immaturity that still reign in my heart.

I was given an amazing opportunity to spend a week in Austria, and I learned more than I can even utter words to. Much of what I learned was affirmation, and some was a reminder, and some was a new twist on an old thought, all causing me to come to the feet of Christ.

School begins soon. The semester *officially* starts on Monday, but classes won't begin until the 15th. I'm eager for new classes, but also worried because I know it will be harder, and busier than the previous semester. I've been working on things for returning to the states, such as FAFSA, and registering for classes in Angelo, and as it is exciting to get back to the culture I grew up in, it is also causing a desire in me to finish school as quickly as possible.

I have an anxiousness in my heart. My heart is full of anticipation, yet also fears and worries of the upcoming future. My prayer has been that Father would replace my anxiousness with his peace. Anxiousness regarding friendships, relationships, schools, appointments, meetings, church, traveling, money, the well-being of friends and colleagues, etc and that anxiousness wouldn't be taken away but would be covered with a peace that only Christ can give. I don't long to be content, but I long to find my strength from Christ.

March has been full of new experiences as well. I was introduced to a wonderful little restaurant which provides many delicious vegetarian dishes-- the most expensive dish being about 4 euros, and it's extremely amazing and again, delicious. Those who work there are some of the most kind people I have encountered here, and I enjoy an evening spent there with Sara and Sean, Maurice and our australian friend, Glenn. Here, I was also introduced to a non-alcoholic beverage, called Malz Bier. It is much like Root Beer, but not as sweet, and extremely savory. This is my favorite drink, and I now must have it at least once a week. Sean and I have discovered the cheapest places to buy it and we already know this is one of the things we will miss the most about Germany once we leave in August.

If you guys would like to pray for me, there is of course the prayer request of anxiousness being replaced by Father's peace, but also in areas of trust. I have noticed lately that my mood/my "happiness" is extremely rocky. I go one minute from being hyper and joyful to a few minutes later being sad and awkward. I'm not sure why, or how exactly to explain it other than it is simply annoying.

Thank you guys. I love you <3
Lara jo

Verloren war ich ohne dich Herr.. du bist mein glueck.

I feel like I have so much to say, but no words to say them... Austria was amazing, but more so than Austria being amazing, the reason it was amazing is because Father is amazing.

Small Impressions

yesterday I met a new Korean. Before saying anything to him he said "You are Lara" and I said yes, and he said the other koreans had been speaking about me. I as usual, when around the foreigners was being hyper and speaking German, so jokingly I said "oh no, hopefully nothing too horrible..." and he said "You know Jesus.." I was surprised how much my heart calmed as I looked him in the eyes and smiled and said "yes, I know Jesus." Simple. The conversation is still swimming in my mind a day later. The two pictured do not necessarily know Father yet, but they are the two I'm closest to. <3 It brings my heart joy whenever I run into them as they get excited and run up to me to hug me. On a human level, it makes me feel loved, on a spiritual level I long for my heart to ache for their souls to know Christ. They are becoming dear to me, and I look forward to hanging out more with them.

I met a ginger from italy yesterday. We have the same hair color and the rest of our families have brown hair, so we are the same person from different countries. Although he's an italian ginger which is completely different. I also told him the english word for our hair color was definitely ginger. I think he believed me. woops.

Tomorrow I leave for Austria with teamham. I'm eager to see J from DD and others and simply the quality time with teamham. J and I will sing Sound of Music together. It will be money in the bank. which is nice considering i need some. <3 yay. :-)